When I first arrived in Brisbane, I started seeing an Aussie guy who lived here. After a few months, things ended really abruptly and unexpectedly. When I told my host family that they shouldn’t expect to see him around the house anymore, Tea turned to me and said, “Liz, if I ever see him walking down the street, I know exactly what I’ll do. I’ll punch him right up the nuts!”

A couple months later, Tea still brings him up every now and then. Like today, when she called me into the bathroom while she was taking a bubble bath…

Tea: So Liz, I was just wondering, how did you break up with Ben?

Liz: Oh you know, I just punched him right in the nuts.

Tea: No you didn’t! How did you really break up with him?

Liz: Well, actually he broke up with me.

Tea: How?

Liz: He basically said, “Liz you suck. I don’t like you.” It was pretty mean and it made me sad.

Tea: Oh yeah. I came in your room and you were crying and I said to myself, yeah Ben must be breaking up with her. I’m sorry, Liz. I tried to help you get a boyfriend by giving him chocolates, but I guess it just didn’t work.

Liz: Thanks, Tea. Do you think you could find me a new boyfriend?

Tea: Oh yeah! I know lots of cute boys. They mostly all live on the Gold Coast.

Liz: All the cute boys live on the Gold Coast?

Tea: Yeah, Liz! All the boys I’ve ever met from the Gold Coast are so cute! You should look for a new boyfriend there.

Liz: Oh well, I’ll have to go there then.

Tea: Yeah. So Liz, did you and Ben ever kiss? Doubt it.

Good advice on getting a boyfriend from a six-year-old.