A couple years ago when I spent a semester studying in Florence, Italy, I introduced people to an old Italian expression that sort of explains the Italian way of life: “il dolce far niente,” literally meaning “the sweetness of doing nothing” or “delicious idleness.” It is the absence of chaos and busy work; it is being still long enough for life to refuel you and show you what is important. For anyone living in America, you know it’s quite difficult to achieve this delicious idleness because society makes you feel lazy and worthless if you aren’t constantly going like the ever-ready bunny. I had been looking forward to taking that semester in Florence to be still and indulge in this lifestyle, but I never truly embraced it. I didn’t seize life the way I had wanted to, and I don’t think at that point in my life I was truly capable of living that way. I had too many distractions and worries and fears that I had to battle through, and that chaos found me even in Florence.

But my Italian roots are strong, and “il dolce far niente” is finally finding me now, in Australia. Right now, I am working a job that gives me the chance to be a kid again. I have a beautiful house to call my home, two awesome kids who have become my best friends, a pool to lounge around every day, and blue skies and sunshine that epitomize the endless summer. I haven’t been doing a lot, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m not bored. In fact, I’ve never been so content in my life. I keep trying to think back to a time when I was this happy, and I haven’t been able to think of any – besides those carefree days, being five years old and oblivious to the world around me, but those memories are just a blur anyway. Right now, I have nowhere else I want to be, nothing else I would rather be doing.

I find that I have time to do things that are important to my mental well-being, things we tend not to have time for. Getting lost in books, writing hand-written letters to family over seas, sitting and listening to music for more than just background noise, calling friends at home for no other reason than to say “hi, I’m thinking about you.” I have time to meet friends for coffee and sit and talk about things that have meaning. I have time to explore new places and people watch. When I began this job, I was uncomfortable with the fact that I had so much free time and not so much to do. I watched people at home struggling to finish school and find jobs and apartments, and I felt slightly guilty for sitting around and not worrying about what was to come next, not planning on what I was going to do when I stopped running away. But I’ve come to realize that I’m not running away from anything. I think I’m being brave in running towards life, living it the way I want to, letting it refuel me and show me what is important. I should never have to feel guilty for being content. This sweetness of doing nothing makes me feel more alive than ever.